Saying goodbye to family for this move was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. I gradually said goodbye to friends over the course of a month or so, but saying goodbye to my family all happened in a couple of days time. I had a special dinner with my nieces and nephew the Sunday before, a lunch with my dad and stepmom the Monday before, and I said goodbye to my mom, sister, and husband’s family after breakfast at the airport right before our flight.
From left: My mom, myself, my sister, my husband’s brother, his Godmother, my husband, and his mother is taking the picture.
It was nice to have these meals before we departed, but it was hard because you know as soon as the meal is over, you are not going to see these family members for a long time. So while happy, the meals were bittersweet. We boarded our plane and took off. I cried a lot of the day and that made the trip harder.
After we finally got to our flat and checked in, things started to look up. The flat was better than we were expecting it would be. I’ll be posting more about the flat later. We were able to unpack a few things, grab a shower, and take a nap.
Over the next couple of days I was still very homesick and emotional about it, but the frequency of my crying lessened. I kept myself busy with unpacking and shopping for food. During lulls in my day, it would return.
Though I still really miss home and my family, there are some things that have really helped keep the homesickness at bay, and I’m sure that over time, I will feel more comfortable here. Some of the things that I recommend are as follows:
21st Century Technology
Thank goodness we live in the 21st century. The amazing technology that we have today helps tremendously to keep people in contact over long distances. A day after being here, I used Skype to talk with my mom. This was the best remedy for my homesickness yet. I woke up in a gloomy mood because I missed home, but after I was done talking with my mom for an hour on Skype, I was able to finish unpacking an entire suitcase of my belongings, make a run to the store, and make dinner without being sad for the rest of the day. I knew Skype existed before we left, but I didn’t realize how much better it would actually make me feel.
Another awesome tool is Pinger’s TextFree with Calling App. You can get it on any Android or Apple device, or you can get it for PC/Mac. With this app, I can text or receive phone calls over WiFi completely free of charge. I can also earn minutes to make calls by watching advertisements and downloading (and deleting afterward) apps. I’ve been using it to text my sister and it feels like I’m just a few miles away instead of 5000 miles away from her.
Of course social media sites such as Facebook are also handy for keeping up with people and chatting. I can see what all of my friends back home are up to. However, I use Facebook sparingly because sometimes this makes me sad rather than happy, knowing all of the things that are going on back in my home state without me.
Setting Goals
When I was still in the States, I started focusing on mastering German. I still have that goal (although I haven’t picked it back up here yet, but plan on it soon) and I have been adding some new ones. I want to take at least one walk every day, even if it’s less than a mile. Oxford is a mostly pedestrian and public transportation city, so you can get most anywhere walking or by bus. There is so much to see and it is so beautiful every direction you look.
A view of the street a little south of our flat in Summertown, UK, north of Oxford’s city center.
Not only does the physical activity tend to cheer me up, but I get to look around and realize where I am and how lucky I am to have the opportunity to live in another country. Not many people actually get to do this, and I am grateful for that. Everytime I walk by a building that was constructed in the 12, 13, 14, 1500s, I know that I will realize the magnitude of what I get to experience every day that I am here.
A view of some of the architecture in Oxford. Most of the city looks like this.
The goals I set for myself will keep me busy and will show me the magnificent things around me.
Distractions
I have so many books to read and movies and shows to watch that I can distract myself when my loved ones cannot be reached or when I’m having a particularly bad day. However, while distractions might work, I don’t think they should be used constantly or over the long-term. Something that I need to do in the future is get out and meet people and do more things. Sitting at home moping in PJs and watching Netflix all day is not why I am here. There is so much of the world to see and experience, and while I am here I plan to take full advantage of that. The fact that “I live in Oxford, England” hasn’t really registered with me yet.
I can say that I am still in a battle with homesickness every single day, but with every day here, it gets better and better. I am also finding new weapons to fight it with every single day. I am blessed to be here in Oxford with my husband and would not trade that for the world.
I will update soon to talk about getting here and the flat that we are living in.
